From lightner Thu Aug 14 10:06:15 1997
Subject: Re: Voss--Read this or Die!!!!
Content-Length: 3829
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> From Thu Aug 14 08:37:33 1997
> Return-Path: <>
> From: Jeff Schramm <>
> To: Bruce Lightner <>,
>         Dave Fuller
> 	 <>,
>         David Helland <>,
>         Mark Hunt <>, "Peter D. Pruyne" <>,
>         "stephen d. freyder" <>,
>         "Tom Kiester (ITL Vendor)"
> 	 <>
> Subject: Voss--
> Date: Thu, 14 Aug 1997 10:33:40 -0500
> Bizness has gotten in the way of a good time, so it's 98% certain I'll
> not be joining you next week. Somebody please be sure to pick El Dave-o
> up at the airport on Sunday. Here's his details:
> 17 AUG 97 - Sunday
>     LV: San Francisco    9:00A
>     AR:Chicago/Ohare    3:01A
>    LV: Chicago/Ohare    3:35P
>    AR: Central Wis         4:48P
> Also, if anybody wants to call TommyK in Prague, his number is
> 011-420-2-611-97-194. This is his office number.

Let us provide a few reasons why you *need* to work on this problem and
figure out a way get get to Manitowish Waters next week...

(1) We aren't going to pick up Dave...that's your job!  He's really
going to be pissed off waiting at at the airport in the middle of
nowhere.  Dave's'll have to watch your back for the
rest of your natural born life!

(2) We're personal friends of SpamNerd Wallace Sanford (a.k.a. Wallace
Spamford) of Cyberpromo.  You thought you were getting too much junk haven't seen nothing yet!  Also, we'll have a full week
together fuming about your deserting us, with lot's of time for
postings to Newsgroups like using
your name, home address, place of "bizness", and e-mail address.  You'd
better plan on changing all of the!

(3) Bruce has managed to skip town without his family because he's been
advertising this as a "guy thing".  If his daughter reports back that
there was *not* a full compliment of "guys", he's in deep shit at
home.  And you know what that means.  Withdrawal of affection...for
unknown periods of time.  This ultimately affects his (and Dave's)
other pastimes...negative chits like this are used to nix important
recreational items like dune buggy acquisitions and road-trips to

(4) You haven't explored all the options in terms of solving this
"bizness" problem!  You *must* have one or more distant relatives which
can conveniently pass on this weekend.  (We can even provide
documentation...with glossy photos of the horrible car accident if you
want.)  Then there's a whole range of sicknesses which can strike
suddenly.  If you want, our resident "doctor", David Rodney ("DR.")
Helland (who needs a ride badly since *we* aren't picking him up) would
be happy to call your place of "bizness" and say all the right things.

Bruce is good at that Dave will tell you, on multiple
occasions, Bruce has called Dave out of "bizness" meetings to go
drinking by telling Dave that his wife just called to let him know that
the 300-foot run of PVC waterline leading up the hill to his house had
burst again.  Bruce is so convincing that even Dave believed him the
first few times.

(5) We know where your live...

(6) We know where you (used to) work.  Once we get done with the phoney
food deliveries, fake car repossessions, happy-birthday strippers,
forged purchase orders, rail-car loads of pork-bellies (ordered by
you), etc. you probably won't be working *there* anymore anyway!

Need we go one?  Let's work together to solve this "bizness" problem.
Ignore this admonition at your own peril.  We're talking about a
(proposed) serious breach of recreational protocol...

Best regards,

The Manitowish Attendance Police
San Diego Division